First Contact: the first job interview of 2019

I was called in to interview for a great position in a wonderful arts non-profit that was ALL THAT. And I totally blew it.

I wrote a kickass cover letter to my resume, because I knew it was going to be read by a human being, not a bot. This was, hands down, the best cover letter I think I have ever written. My commensurate experience was artfully connected with everything they needed in a development director, and in one paragraph I succinctly described why the arts are important to human beings. I was on fire.

And then I showed up and sucked ass.

It wasn’t just that I was nervous. I certainly was. But, to paraphrase Jane Austen, my nerves have been my constant companion these many years. It was more that I missed important cues early on in the conversation, and I fell short on the pivotal question in the interview.

As I’ve risen through the ranks over the years, I have spoken at interviews about my skills, projects and experiences – all of which were meant to focus on my ability to be Johnny-On-The-Spot and get the job done. Now that I’ve climbed to positions where I’m in charge, it feels like there’s a code I haven’t yet learned. One where folks speak on platitudes, rather than specifics, and have ‘high-level’ conversations.

I have no idea how to have a high-level conversation.

The details are where the fun is, the work, the creativity, the problem solving. The situations where your boss says, “forget it, there’s not enough time to do it,” and you say, “HELLS YES there is enough time. Watch me.” And then all the good stuff happens.

After about 20 minutes it felt like my interviewer was done, a sign things weren’t going well. To keep things going I turned the interview around and began to interview him. I’ve spent years interviewing people and telling their stories, so this was familiar ground. I was able to extend the interview for another 25 minutes and get a little more about me into the conversation.

Maybe he knew in the first five minutes I wasn’t what he was looking for. That happens. I’ve been in that position before on the other side of the table.

But if I’m being honest, I bombed the interview.

I had approached it worried I’d be asked why I’d been out of work so long, when I should have thought about how to continue what I had started in my cover letter. I had memorized my resume and had anticipated every question, but I screwed the pooch on the pivotal question: how do you think your marketing experience translates to fundraising?

It’s embarrassing, really, just how rusty I am at this.

I mean, c’mon. I didn’t come in with an outline in my head about how my marketing and communications experience will translate to fundraising??? I didn’t push those thoughts as far as they needed to go for an interview, and as a result, fell short.

How did this happen? Sometimes the obvious seems so, well, obvious, it feels redundant to expand on it. Plus, I don’t enjoy talking about myself when I am the sole focus (said the blog writer). Finally, job interviews are awkward. They mimic a social conversation, but are nowhere near being one. A job interview is a situation where the thesis is you and whether you are a good fit for the job. Then it’s up to you to prove it in 30 minutes or less.

And I totally booted it.

Interviewing is never going to be my favorite thing to do, but it’s within the realm of unpleasant things that are doable. To be fair, it was my first interview in over a year, and I know from experience that the next one will be different. You get better at this the more you do it.

The upside to bombing is it’s a great motivator. For the next few months you’ll find me poring over Dan’s List, thoughtfully writing cover letters and diligently writing outlines for obvious interview questions and saying them out loud. Pretending it’s totally normal for a 50-year-old woman to not know what the hell she is doing.